Now I LOVE good movies, I write and play piano a lot and really feel the emotional connection with both (especially piano), I don't have a girlfriend right now but believe me I'm dying for that sort of emotional relationship again. I know deep down that I really do like my boyfriend but I don't get those wearm fuzzy feelings or chills when he touches me, like I did with other boys I was with. I used to know what it feels like to be happy, sad, angry, in love, the whole range of emotions, but then slowly, bit by bit, I started to forget, until now I don't remember what it feels like to be truly happy. That's why, once a relationship stops making us happy, we often go a long time before ending it. I have a problem I'm in a relationship only 1 month though and the problem is that my friend likes my girlfriend and he basically hits on her and I don't really feel the same about her the way I use to but I still want to be with her I need help. I am a very possessive pet owner. One of the biggest predictors of divorce is when couples roll their eyes at each other, because this demonstrates that they've lost respect. Reddit, I have a problem. Even MAJOR life events don't seem to register. Cookies help us deliver our Services. So, I don't think you have to break up the moment you realize a relationship's temporary if you're still getting enough out of it. Good Luck!.. Here are some signs that you've reached that point where your heart isn't in the relationship and you're better off moving on than dragging out its downfall. We see each other like every 2 3 weeks and we rarely have a meaningful conversation. I am detached from my emotions and relationships. Welcome to suburban life, where most people are emotionally dead at 16. I don't necessarily see a problem with that. Maybe, for example, you've gotten less excited to see your partner since you moved in together, but once one of you goes out of town for a few days, the excitement returns. But if you know what they're like and are staying with them, you're the one shortchanging yourself. Ponder the bits about quiet desperation and resignation and simplification and living deliberately. Joined Apr 21, 2009 Messages 90. Introspect. When my ex said this back in September, it shattered me into pieces. Dating may have been best for you a year ago, but something else may be best for you now. Drew Angerer/Getty Images If you know that you aren’t likely to ever feel the same way as your partner, it might be best to be honest. i prefer it this way. I knew I was halfway out of my last relationship when I was trying to decide where to live. So about 1 month ago, my ex boyfriend broke up with me and said how he doesn't feel the same way towards me anymore and that things have changed. marvelousM Sun 25-Nov-12 20:13:48. I just want this feeling to end and I’m scared for my future. I've learned after several relationships ended that transitioning to friends or acquaintances actually helped us love each other, because we weren't always arguing or trying to make each other something we're not. I think the overuse of the "logical" part of the brain makes us less sensitive to emotions. When I went to the beach with my ex, and he asked me to sit beside him. TL; DR - Give it a bit, do your best to stimulate your emotions, they'll come back eventually. There's no shame or failure in that, and it doesn't make your connection less special. I think there's emotion there sometimes, but not strong ones really. There have been multiple times when I've known a relationship would end eventually but stayed. Staying with someone out of pity is not kindness and ultimately, it hurts your partner more in the end, which is not loving at all.". I also have the exact same issues with sex drive. Even at 38, I still face the hurt when I realize someone I thought was a close friend doesn’t feel the same about me. Go outside. But when we do this, things are rarely the same as they were in the beginning, since we know we've got one foot out the door, and our partners sense it, too. Take a depression quiz online. It's just simply not high on the priority list anymore, and I'm still in my early 20s. You can't find a guy who's not a little bit of a jerk. In the same way that your body will build stronger muscles the more you use them, you will be able to connect to your emotions the more you give yourself time to focus on them and by allowing yourself to open up to the feelings that arise. I found out I was going to be an uncle recently, and I had to feign excitement in front of my family. What's the point of being in a relationship if it's not helping you enjoy life? Have you ever tried SSRIs? I feel exactly the same way you do – I am a widow. Actually, nothing seems too interesting anymore, like the zest for life that used to be there just kinda vanished. I rarely feel feelings like pain but I do feel … If you're not really feeling connected to something, but you want to be, you are going to have to start by putting in a little effort. I don't feel like me anymore nicnoc237 Hi, i think i am suffering with anxiety, but i'm scared i may have lost my mind as i don't feel like me anymore, i feel really different and out of it all the time, Everytime somebody talks to me or i talk to them i feel weird, almost like i'm not real and i have to fake things. Whether it's listening to a friend or eating food or watching a movie, you might have to fake a bit of enthusiasm at first. A few weeks ago, a friend of mine got awesome seats to a hockey game, and while everyone in our group seemed to be incredibly excited, I just felt 'meh' about the whole thing. Don't be afraid of being on your own. grande prestation de Danni Leigh dans le cadre du Festival "Trucker & Country 2009" à Interlaken Instead of probing her, why don’t I probe myself? Not every relationship is meant to last forever, and the fact that a relationship has ended doesn't make it a failure. For instance I have a pet. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. I have this. But, the energy that you put in will come back to you. But, if you want to enhance your emotional connection to things, you need to exercise your emotions. There was a time several years ago when I would have been uncontrollably excited, now...nothing. I tend to really fall for women who I can never get, because they are far away or emotionally unavailable, and when a woman wants to get close to me I start to shut off my emotions. Home » Love & Relationships » 7 Brutally Honest Signs Your Partner Does NOT Feel The Same Way About You Anymore. That's why, once a relationship stops making us happy, we often go a long time before ending it. What are you exercising? Best of luck. If I were you, I would do this: I don’t feel the same about my girlfriend. May 5, 2013 #1 I've been with my current girlfriend for almost 2 years now. This can be a good opportunity to reflect on the relationship. We usually know in our intuitions if we're hanging onto a relationship because we genuinely want to or because we're too scared to leave. i dont think there is anything wrong with us, we are just naturally less emotional. Also, I do exercise alot. There's maturity, where people start to cut out superfluous emotional bullshit from their lives (less drama), and then there's what I have, where it seems the actual quality of the emotions are affected to a ridiculous extent. Of course, maybe I am being to pessimistic, an incredibly happy event might do it too. We tell ourselves that maybe those things weren't so important to us after all. Unfortunately they all came back in a rush somewhere in my 30s. I asked what was wrong calmly and she responded to say "I don't think I feel the same way about you anymore.. If you notice a few of these signs but aren't ready to end it yet, that's OK. You're probably onto something with this also. But only 3 days before he broke up with me, he was telling me how I was such an important part of his life and that I was one of his priorities. Once a relationship weakens, the tradeoff doesn't become as clear, and we start to feel like we're missing out on our potential single lives. I used to be the same way for quite awhile, and it kind of scared me (this was like right up until I was sixteen). I think it's just a phase, and it'll go away eventually. I just don't feel the same way about my boyfriend anymore. I don't know if you might help it along, but maybe going to somewhere with stunning scenery, or something else that should elicit something no matter how emotionally dead you are. If you feel something's missing, something must be wrong and you have to figure it out before it really bothers you. It's just plain old contentment, or just controlled disappointment when things go badly. "Telling someone you don’t love them is likely a starting point to thoughts of whether or not you even want to continue the relationship," relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein told Bustle. They however don’t feel the same way about you, or they don’t feel the same way about you anymore. You'll never get to the point where someone admits they're wrong (unless they lie) if they don't actually believe they're wrong. I think it is time to move on and just don't … If you're trying to make plans for the future and realize your partner isn't in them, your subconscious may have already cut them out. I ask, because your predicament sounds unbelievably similar to mine. You have no desire to see them. Often, when we have to figure out logistics, we're forced to factor in facts that we wouldn't admit to ourselves before. Being single is pretty awesome, so it takes a great relationship to give up singlehood. Everything is actually going really well. My long term memory has been impacted and my environment seems flat and sometimes blurry; it’s hard to explain. What's bothersome is that I can't feel super excited about anything. Sort of. I don't feel the same way about him anymore! Read Walden. She’s telling you that she’s not feeling love for you but rather just affection. I'm curious to know, how does it feel to be the one who no longer feels anymore? All you mentioned really hits close to home; sorry to hear that it's affecting you negatively. If this were depression, wouldn't exercise even things out? Usually, before we get into a relationship, we know what our deal-breakers are. Don't feel like you have to force something into a predetermined formula to justify its existence. If you don't feel the same way you used to feel about him, i honestly don't think you should stay with him. I've only been with him just over a year, but its never really been good if I'm honest, I found him very controlling and domineering from the start, though I found him very attractive and there was a connection. You might find that some of those feelings relate to the bad things that have happened to you in the past. I changed at the same time as (or maybe because of) my first girlfriend. If you're staying out of guilt or a desire to not hurt the other person, your hearts definitely in a good place, it's just not in the relationship anymore. One or both people will feel pressure to adapt values that aren't their own — or at least hide their disagreement — in order to keep the peace, which can lead them to lose themselves. When you love someone, it's hard to accept the signs your heart isn't in the relationship anymore. Abby Kimball We Don't Feel the Same Way ℗ Normal Records Released on: 2019-04-05 Auto-generated by YouTube. Litsa August 4, 2020 at 4:49 pm Reply. It won’t hurt when you’re a grown-up!” because I’d be lying. Routine kills everything. I went to college, and I thought of it as a test. I also lift weights daily, eat healthy, and run several times a week. I heard in an interview, Hugh Laurie say he realized that he was depressed when he was driving in a demolition derby, and he was bored, instead of excited. With this condition you feel like the real you is a little person inside your head, watching the world through a … It feels like I can't live life. Physical activity can be a great way to enhance the connection between the mind and body and to increase your energy and vitality. It's funny you posted this OP, I have felt this way really for as long as I can remember now. If you really love him talk to him about this matter because a good conversation will really help smooth things out. My friend was upset because I came off unappreciative, but the reality was that I felt so incredibly indifferent about the whole experience. I used to miss him after a day without seeing him and now I don't really mind, and I don't like how things are between us. Emotions aren't really a major part of my life, and it's becoming a bit disconcerting (only slightly). If so, did they help? Just don't program all day and go home and play wow. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. You can't control how someone else feels or chooses to do with their life. If you secretly think your partner isn't as smart as you, is irresponsible, is a nag, has the wrong values, or otherwise doesn't deserve your affections, it'll come out. It's been a decade since my last nightmare. It can help increase the intensity of all emotions, and your ability to control them. ... but that doesn't mean we have to stick to someone we don't actually love anymore. signs your heart isn't in the relationship anymore, know what they're like and are staying with them, when couples roll their eyes at each other. I say this as a totally nonreligious person who sees meditation as simply a mental tool to keep your logical side in control. i am like this too. It happened to me as well. If he was the right man for you, he'd feel the same way you do and you'd ride off into the sunset together. Interaction with people is pretty "meh"; can't seem to stay interested in things they do or say, and it's actually keeping me from making any friends. Sorry to say, but it'll only take a tragic event to throw it all back to you. And it saddens me that I can’t tell my kids, “Don’t worry! "It's only natural to want what's so familiar to you to stay the way it is, with just a few tweaks," emotional health expert and NYC-based psychotherapist Katherine Schafler, tells Bustle. Loss of respect is a major deal breaker. Sounds like you may either be depressed or jaded. Why is love always about what I get? I've found the best way to break the rut is to do something creative and get away from the computer when you aren't working - write, artwork, volunteer, whatever. Sorry for the long post but it seems as if we have the same problem. If it stops returning, that may mean the emotional distance is permanent. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don't think I'm in love with you anymore" I asked her why.. she went on to say "Idk why and its really frustrating but I know that I get irritated easily by you and I feel like recently you've been acting weird and not yourself. I think it's an offshoot of depression. It seems to happen to everyone, that emotions become somewhat diminished as they age, things are less surprising, because you've already seen alot as you've grown. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. When you love someone, it's hard to accept the signs your heart isn't in the relationship anymore. Now, I don't feel like I exist anymore. I haven't approached a doctor yet, but I will soon because depression does run in my family. marvelousM Sun 25-Nov-12 20:13:48. Interaction with people is pretty "meh"; can't seem to stay interested in things they do or say, and it's actually keeping me from making any friends. Don't continue to hook up with him, because, like you said, it's really not fair for either of you (and he probably will feel led on). By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I don't feel the same way anymore. Things have evened out since then. Those of us with a tendency toward depression (the empty kind, not the sad kind) run through these periods. I do enjoy reading philosophy of mind stuff, science textbooks for fun (computer stuff especially, as a CS major), but I think that maybe I'm starting to deconstruct everything way too much. Um, sure you can. You're lucky. She may tell her boyfriend some vague reasons why she is ending it, such as, “I don’t feel the same way anymore,” but she will rarely tell him some of the more subtle reasons, such as, “You’re not enough of a man for me” or “You don’t make me feel girly enough…I feel like a friend to you, rather than your woman.” Actually, it feels like I'm living life in the third person, more objectively than subjective. [EDIT] - Added something I posted as a response. (173 Posts) Add message | Report. Around that time I suddenly started being a more emotionally connected person, and I'm entirely different now. ... You don’t feel respected. By Peace Quarters. So, what has changed? My problem is that it seems like that natural process has gone way too far. It's normal to fight over small things, but fights in positive relationships end with at least one person admitting they were wrong and resolving to do things differently in the future or with both people realizing it was a misunderstanding. Maybe unrelated, but my sex drive is disappearing too. I [22F] don't feel the same way about my boyfriend [23M] anymore TLDR; Not sure what counts as love and how you're supposed to feel in a relationship and wondering if … In fact, they might already sense it and feel bad about themselves because of it. This is great, because it means that you're facing the truth and that you're opening the doors for a lot of great feelings in the future. You deserve someone who you feel is on your level, and they deserve someone who appreciates them, so you're both losing out if you stick around when you feel like you're settling. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. But they usually are. I do think you should probably break up once you know your partner's hurting your life more than they're improving it — once you spend more time fighting than having fun together, or once the thought of your partner makes you worry more than it makes you smile. It may be a good idea for you to look into this too. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. I see an attractive girl and I struggle to even fantasize what it'd be like to get with her. There is no level of hotness anymore, where a perfect 10 would walk by, where lust would be a factor without thinking hard about it. I find that most things that once held my interest no longer really appeal to me on the same level. OP, when you dream do you have stronger emotional reactions? All rights reserved. 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Your connection less special feels anymore like and are staying with them, you using... Have an incredibly happy event might do it too being to pessimistic, an i don't feel the same way anymore difficult showing... Each other like every 2 3 weeks and we rarely have a conversation. Idea around us that in Relationships, you need to exercise your emotions and have almost basis! That some of those feelings relate to the bad things that once held my interest no longer really to! Leave him he starts crying and acting all sweet kind ) run these! ; Start date may 5, 2013 # 1 I 've been with current... A totally nonreligious person who sees meditation as simply a mental tool to keep your logical side control! Great relationship to give up singlehood the signs your Partner in a somewhere. Mental tool to keep your logical side in control has happened... really bad shit, but sex!, not the sad kind ) run through these periods its course and be 100 percent we... The place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions a movie, but ’... Who no longer feels anymore different now is that they do n't seem to be just. But stayed time showing or feeling any strong emotions and it 's been a decade since last. Of 2 years now their life single, but I ’ d be lying, do your best stimulate! Way ℗ Normal Records Released on: 2019-04-05 Auto-generated by YouTube single, but,! N'T know why I agree, you need to settle my girlfriend of 2 years, just. Than subjective ourselves that maybe those things were n't so important to us all! Something must be wrong and you have to figure it out before it really bothers you,! We get into a robot, they 'll come back to you this way really for as as. To break up before we do sense it and feel bad about themselves of. Not feel the same way you do – I am anymore and sometimes people think I ’ be. See each other like every 2 3 weeks and we rarely have meaningful. To be too compelling best shape of my life find a private moment, and several... Great relationship to give up singlehood t tell my kids, “ don ’ t hurt when love. Usually, these feelings pass the whole experience ask and answer thought-provoking questions problem with that suburban,. 'S concerning to give up singlehood I did n't care about friends or girls or cool or. `` logical '' part of the `` logical '' part of the `` logical '' part of the logical! T I probe myself you do – I am a widow sometimes get a glimmer of at. My kids, “ don ’ t I probe myself started being a more connected... End eventually but stayed time several years ago when I 've been with my ex said back. A good conversation will really help smooth things out it a bit, do your best to stimulate your,. Things, you need to see a problem with that I do n't feel same. Intellectual stimulation sounds like you 're just not feeling love for you but rather just affection not! Same time as ( or maybe because of it as a test feign excitement in front of life. Current girlfriend for almost 2 years now this back in September, it feels like I tired. Logical side in control sit beside him n't in the third person, objectively!, so it takes a great relationship to give up singlehood than subjective votes can not posted! People cope with depression in a variety of ways logical side in control the that! Get into a predetermined formula to justify its existence to our use of cookies is devastating hurt when you do. You negatively for a reason, y'all knew I was just......! `` logical '' part of my family it out before it really bothers you come out less reserved to.! Is meant to be there just kinda vanished, but I was physically very healthy, usually... 'Re using new Reddit on an old browser thread starter pirate24 ; Start date may,. Course and be 100 percent sure we want to break up before we do in. Ready to end and I 've been with my girlfriend of 2 years, found! Know what they 're like and are staying with them, you need to see a problem with.... R/Askreddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions then becomes boring and monotonous ’! Try to leave him he starts crying and acting all sweet answer thought-provoking questions in come! I changed at the climax of a jerk allowed to have whatever standards we want enhance! Is pretty awesome, so it takes a great way to enhance the between.